Friday, 28 August 2015

Beware the Sky! - A Groveling Finklebott Cautionary Tale - Part 1

So there I was, minding my own business just passing through town when Kobolds and Dragons!  DRAGONS!  There was like a hundred of them!  And they're all over the skies!  I tell you what, you'd never get that happening underground, nosiree.  Old Man Rockweather warned me about the perils of the surface, but someone had to warn them.  Someone had to let the people know that there was another option!  That they could escape from this deathtrap that they're living in!



My name is Groveling Finklebott, and I have been on the surface now for just over two years.  I spent the prior 12 years studying under the great Old Man Rockweather the ways of the earth, helping to guide the dwarfs in their constant search for wealth and making sure they don't awaken any of the horrors sleeping beneath the surface.  That's the thing about underground horrors, they have the decency and dignity to remain dormant and asleep until you break open their caverns.  Don't break open their cavern?  They stay asleep.  That's our job.  Anyway, I got sent to the surface to bring the word to the people up here, to let them know that they can follow me, that they can be saved.  But Dragons!  I did not really expect to see Dragons so soon!  And so many of them!

Now the cautionary part of my tale begins in the town of Greenrest.  Lovely place, definitely too airy for my likings and clearly it wasn't very safe.  But the people were friendly enough (when they weren't being crucified).  We arrived in town on the heels of a nasty band of raiders.  Mixture of filthy Kobolds (KOBOLDS WITH WINGS?  What the hell do they have wings for?  Who, in the name of all the sacred holds, decided that KOBOLDS needed Wings?) and equally filthy Humans.  They bickered and squabbled but mostly they put the village to the torch and stole the villagers belongings.  We had a few skirmishes on the way, but managed to find our way to the keep where the survivors were holed up.  There we took part in the defense of the keep itself until the true villain of our story arrived.  Mean it was, at least a hundred feet long, rich blue and crackling with electricity.  Fangs longer than the longest stalagmites they were.  It was a dragon so big it should never have been able to take flight.  In fact, were we to explain the physics of what it was doing to the dragon, I am sure that it would have come crashing down, victim to the very sky it attacks from.  The Dragon swept across the battlements murdering men and women with its crackling lightning breath.  The smell of cooked flesh was both horrific and actually quite appetizing.  You know, I think it was here that I developed a taste for... oh never mind.  I'll get back to that in a later chapter.

After swooping and passing around the keep, murdering the defenders and keeping the survivors penned in, the Dragon left, taking the raiders and the Kobolds with it.  Nothing was left of the town outside of the keep, the temple had been desecrated and her priestess crucified.  All the wealth and resources of the Townsfolk carried off by the invading army.  We decided at this point that we would go and investigate these raiders, find out what was going on and see what we could reclaim of the townsfolk's lost gold.  I had heard that the raiding army had also taken refuge in a system of caves.  Perfect!  If we could clear out its vile, disgusting denizens we could relocate the townsfolk away from their retched hovel above ground, where I am sure they would risk dying of exposure, and into the warm, protective embrace of the underground.

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